


Welcome Home

by wordwinx



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-01
Updated: 2010-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-14 19:18:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/840436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordwinx/pseuds/wordwinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is an Adommy fic from my LiveJournal archives. I wanted all my pieces in one place. I don't write Adommy anymore. (Original posting date August 1, 2010)</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an Adommy fic from my LiveJournal archives. I wanted all my pieces in one place. I don't write Adommy anymore. (Original posting date August 1, 2010)

Welcome Home

Tommy was a mess. He couldn’t focus on his music or get anything done or talk to anyone. He was simply glued to his computer or obsessively checking his phone for any news of Adam. With each new glimpse, an interview or twitpic, Tommy’s heart sped up. His joy was always followed by a bitter sadness that he couldn’t be there with Adam to experience this whirlwind by his side. Stupid passport! Stupid budget! Stupid mistakes. Tommy blamed himself mostly for missing out on this opportunity.

Adam and Tommy had been going almost everywhere together lately from groceries to parties. They even went on vacation together in Mexico along with a group of friends. Somehow they had stayed just friends even though they had exchanged some rather intense glances and not-so-casual hugs. The temptation to be intimate left Tommy worrying about his resolve to keep things simple between the two of them. Tommy had been heterosexual all his life. Adam was the only man who had ever made him question his orientation. Girls still turned him on, not dudes. But then there was Adam, and that was different. Tommy’s interest in him was immediate even though he was able to rationalize it as mere admiration. Adam and Tommy had a mutual respect musically and enough in common that it was a rewarding friendship. Why mess that up for some unknown, unidentifiable attraction? That had been Tommy’s decision. Adam had kissed him with crazy passion on the AMA’s and had taken Tommy completely off guard. He approached Tommy later to make sure they were okay. Tommy was still too overcome and uncertain to project anything other than he was cool with it. In truth, Tommy had never felt like that. He replayed the kiss over and over in his mind. Adam’s mouth was somehow commanding and gentle at the same time. The suction took Tommy’s breath. The dart of Adam’s tongue rigid against his cheek willing Tommy to open wider and let him in. Then Adam’s lips at the end punctuating that intimate exchange. Adam had noticed that Tommy avoided his eyes for a few days afterward. When things seemed normal again, Adam didn’t want to go back to an awkward place. They never really talked about it. They laughed about it and teased each other, but there was no real discussion about what had come over Adam that night to cause him to so boldly throw caution to the wind and embrace Tommy so fully on national TV. What was left unsaid, had slowly simmered inside Tommy for months now. With each performance and each interaction, Tommy was getting more and more attached. The separation this promo tour created was simply killing him.

When the arrangements for the Asia/Europe tour had been made without including Tommy, Adam felt bad and had to see Tommy in private. He had been so sweet.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Tommy? I feel awful about this. I really want you to come with us. I think if I insist on it, I can convince them to change their minds.” Tommy almost jumped on the offer but he hesitated for two reasons. One, if he was with Adam 24/7 again like Mexico, he wouldn’t have the willpower to deny his desire. And, two, under that kind of media scrutiny, everyone would know just exactly how he felt.

“It’s okay, Adam. I’ve really got a lot of shit to do to stay busy. Don’t waste a favor over this.”

Adam was clearly disappointed. Tommy didn’t know whether to show he was also disappointed or to make it seem like no big deal. Neither reaction would make it right. Adam had hugged him when he left in that full body, soul-absorbing way and promised to keep in contact every step of the tour. Once it got going, Adam had been much busier than he had anticipated. The schedule on paper looked like an ordinary “to-do” list but in actuality, Adam was being pushed and pulled in several different directions simultaneously. He was barely afforded a moment’s peace. He loved the fans and the attention. Adam got to perform and dress and speak as himself without having to question how it was going to be interpreted by a media already thirsty for the blood of controversy. No one outside the states seemed to have any peculiar interest in Adam’s orientation beyond a matter of fact mention of it. Instead, there was a refreshing interest in Adam, the singer/performer, and that suited him just fine. When Adam finally had a minute to check his personal messages, he was leaving Australia on a flight to Singapore. He filtered through looking for anything from Tommy. In all, he counted ten messages! Adam’s heart thudded. His first thought was, OMG, now I know he wants me. Then he thought, Wow, ten! I hope nothing’s wrong. Finally, guilt won out when he realized he had simply broken his promise to keep in contact. 

Adam decided to read Tommy’s latest message first. (Sorry for the rambling. I just miss you.) Adam’s heart swelled. Everything was all right. Now he could read the other texts in order knowing it was going to end well.

(Hey, how’s it going so far?)

(I see you’re rocking the beanie! LOL, I told you it would be hot, you tool!)

(Geezus, Adam. Mardi Gras. Amazing. Just wow.)

(When you get back to LA, can I wear that codpiece for a hat? LOL!)

(Just got in. What time is it there?)

(Good interview. I think the Aussies want to adopt you.)

(I started writing a song, but it’s kind of lame. It’s about a guy who can’t ever say what he means. I dunno. It needs a bridge.)

Then the next two were so abstract, Adam guessed Tommy must be drunk. It might have been lyrics to the song Tommy was trying to write, but they made no sense at all. And the last text Adam read again. (Sorry for the rambling. I just miss you.) The time on it was only an hour ago. Adam texted back. 

At first he said too much and decided to start over. (It’s been crazy. Amazing, but totally crazy. I miss you too, Glitterbaby.) Adam held his phone close to him. He put in his ear buds and started looking for a song to match his mood. He had just opened the playlist when a response came in his inbox. It was Tommy. He must have been sitting right there with his phone.

(R U in Singapore?)

(Not yet . . . en route. Imma try to call you.) Tommy’s heart began to race. After a couple minutes just staring at his phone, it buzzed. Tommy tried to get it together and sound calm.

“Hi, Adam.”

“Hey, Tommy.” The sound of Adam’s voice was so velvety in Tommy’s ear, he had to close his eyes. Tommy had hoped when he finally got to talk to Adam, somehow he’d be able to tell where they stood. For a little while they talked casually about the tour, LA, and nothing in particular. Still, there was an unmistakable lilt and softness in Adam’s tone that made Tommy feel like he was Adam’s special confidante. He relaxed. They were connecting on a more intimate level than in the past. Tommy realized they had never spoken on the phone this long before. It became apparent that even though Adam was constantly in the public eye, he hadn’t been able to really talk to anyone in quite a while. Adam was sharing his triumphs and revealing his insecurities. Tommy was flattered that Adam was asking him his opinion about music arrangements and even costume ideas. Tommy let himself imagine what it would be like to talk like this every night but not on the phone, together on the couch maybe, or . . . dare he think it, in bed. Tommy shuddered with longing. He’d lost the conversation and was simply lulled by Adam’s sexy, sleepy voice. He couldn’t help but touch himself.

“Are you there, Tommy?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” Tommy cleared his throat. “Guess I’m kind of sleepy.”

“Shit, it must be really late there.”

“It’s okay. I don’t want to hang up.” It was Adam’s turn to pause.

“Adam?”

“I’m here. I just wish I was there . . . with you.” Tommy’s heart leapt.

“Me too, Adam. I miss you so much. I’m kind of a mess.” Adam sighed long and deep into the phone.

“Oh, Tommy, don’t. You’re gonna make me crazy.”

“I’m sorry, Adam. I can’t help it.”

“We just can’t do this now. I’ve got to focus, you know?”

“You’re not mad are you?”

“No. I just, like, hurt all over. I dunno. I’m exhausted, you know?”

“I know. I can’t believe how busy you must be. Is it okay if I keep texting you sometimes?”  
Tommy winced at his own insecurity.

“Yeah, I want you to. I just can’t always get back right away.”

“I understand.” Tommy waited a moment. “I’ll let you go.” Adam flinched.

“Now, I don’t want to hang up.” Adam could tell Tommy had smiled by the rush of breath into the receiver. He smiled too.

“Good night, Adam. Love you.” Whoa. Tommy had said it aloud and unintentionally.

“What?” There was total silence on Tommy’s end. Adam almost whispered. “Tommy, what did you say?” There was no point in denying it. Tommy didn’t even want to deny it anymore even if his love went unrequited and exposed him to a world of hurt.

“I said I love you, Adam. I love you.” Adam sighed heavily into the phone.

“I so love you back.” After a long pause to let the significance of that sweet moment soak in, Adam and Tommy exchanged goodnights. Tommy hung up with a floating feeling like he was being lifted by something much greater than himself. And, whether it was fatigue, loneliness, or hope, Adam let the tears come.

Surprisingly, Adam was able to focus on the task at hand, winning over the world. Adam met the greatest enthusiasm he had ever witnessed from his fans in Japan. They adored him. As the visit progressed, Adam felt they might be more interested in his glittery persona than his glowing vocals but those suspicions were soon assuaged when FYE, the single went to #1 before he had even left the airport for Europe. No doubt the objectives of the promo tour were being met and surpassed. Adam was becoming a worldwide megastar. In the UK, Adam felt completely at home, even though he had never been on British soil before in his life. Perhaps because he and Tommy were getting closer and closer with each text and every long, sleepy call, Adam finally relaxed and enjoyed his new found success. The British media embraced Adam. He felt the love. When Adam left London, the rest of the tour began to blur. He tried to stay in the present, but the ridiculous, repetitive interviews and tightly constructed venue performances were beginning to stifle Adam. He fought the desire for all of it to be over. He wanted to breathe the smoggy LA air. He needed to see Tommy.

Adam and Tommy talked every day before Adam turned in for the night. Tommy started to prepare for Adam’s return. Even though they refrained from talking about where they would go from here, it was just understood that mere friendship was no longer the limit. They were successfully keeping the conversation light and always ended it with “I love yous.” 

On the flight home, Adam was too wired to rest much. He texted his ETA to Tommy and asked if he would go over to unlock his place for him and air it out. Adam hated coming home to stuffy, lifeless rooms. Tommy knew Adam was openly giving him an invitation to make the next move. Tommy was ready. The anticipation of being with Adam heightened every sensation. This was going to be special.

Adam willed his legs to carry him through the door. When he saw Tommy across the room, his knees went rubbery, and he lost sensation in his arms. The bags thudded onto the floor.  
Whatever Tommy had rehearsed he might say was all immediately forgotten. Tommy couldn’t speak at all. He simply smiled broadly knowing how happy Adam was to see him.

“I’m so glad you’re here. Come here, you.” Tommy sailed into Adam’s arms. Adam smelled of travel a combination of upholstery and stale bread. But, the longer he lingered nuzzling Adam’s neck, the familiar scents returned. Adam spoke again. 

“Can we just stay like this for a few hours, holding each other?”

“Yes, but I ran a hot bath for you if you want.” Adam was inspired.

“Oh, you’re an angel. That’s exactly what I want.” Adam smiled, but his eyes revealed a deeper longing than a bath. Tommy pretended not to notice and wondered just how long Adam could last. He looked dead on his feet.

“Let me help you with that.” He slowly took off Adam’s jacket and hung it up. Tommy disappeared for a minute while Adam pulled off his boots. The fatigue was beginning to make all these ordinary movements very difficult. Tommy reappeared and took Adam by the hand.

“Right this way.” Adam was smiling and allowed himself to be pulled in the direction of the bathroom. In spite of the exhaustion, Adam was becoming aroused at the prospect of having Tommy to himself, really having him. Tommy read his mind.

“After your bath, you should take a nap. Rest up.” Tommy glanced into Adam’s eyes for emphasis. Adam nodded ever so slightly in agreement. “I changed the bed and closed the drapes so it’s just right.” Adam smiled, so pleased. Once inside the bathroom, Adam noticed immediately how special Tommy had made everything. There were bubbles and fresh towels. Bath salts tickled Adam’s nose, and there were real rose petals strewn about. Adam was truly touched.

“Oh, Tommy. Shit. This is so perfect. Fuck, you’re going to make me cry.” Tommy was relishing the effect his romantic preparation had on Adam. He knew his efforts wouldn’t be wasted on a man who knew pleasure. Tommy succeeded in avoiding Adam’s eyes. If he got caught in them, he’d surrender instantly. Instead, Tommy helped Adam off with his shirt. Adam fumbled with the hamper and ran his hand through his hair absentmindedly. Tommy busied himself checking the water temperature, but he could see Adam in the mirror. He looked so helpless standing there in his jeans, shirtless, shoeless and tousled. He had to physically hold himself back. No need to pounce. Adam was clearly battling fatigue.

“Okay, I’m going to get you a drink. Just call me, and I’ll wash your back.”

“Don’t go too far away.” Adam’s voice was soft and husky. 

Tommy stopped at the door. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Adam let him go. He could wait. He had wanted Tommy for so long now that a few moments more was worth it to make things just right. Alone, Adam couldn’t help but look up to the ceiling thankful to the universe for this gift. He slipped off his pants and kicked them into a heap. He took a p*ss and flushed. He brushed his teeth and checked his naked form in the mirror. His freckled shoulders and forearms kept him grounded reminding him of his natural self, the inner identity of his former life, the real Adam. He ran his hand over his stomach—not bad, but he wished he had the discipline to work out. Then there it was, the undeniable instigator, motivator, the source, the zone, his pride—semi-erect and ready in response to Adam’s own eyes. Pride didn’t cover it exactly. That kind of machinery could do just as much harm as good in the wrong hands. Adam smirked believing with all his heart that he was worthy of the pleasure this body afforded. Adam had learned a long time ago to use all his gifts responsibly. Such an advantage in this world must be accepted with caution else the power itself betray him. All in all, this body had served Adam well in spite of youth’s abuse. At some point, the booze and caffeine and occasional hallucinogens would begin to show, but just that moment Adam was 28-tight and shameless.

Adam tested the water with his finger tips. It was perfect. He climbed into the tub easing himself carefully down given that his butt cheeks were perpetually icy when naked. He sighed heavily letting the tensions of travel and the stress of his schedule melt away. Adam was home, and Tommy was there. Life just didn’t get much better than this. Adam didn’t know what would come of this new potential relationship with Tommy, but perhaps everything would become clearer in the next several hours. He just might be the one. It could be happening for Adam finally. He needed to see him, and called out.

“Tommy.” Adam heard him trod down the hallway. He knocked first then opened the door. Tommy was carrying a tall iced drink with a straw.

“Aw, thanks, T. That looks fantastic. What is it?”

“Green tea and a little mint.” Tommy held the glass and tipped the straw toward Adam. He took a sip and made yum noises. “You hungry?”

“Not exactly.” Adam was invigorated by the hot bath and cold drink. He was beginning to eye Tommy like a dish he’d like to devour. Tommy could feel his eyes on his every move.

“You want me to wash you?” 

Adam licked his lips. “Yes, I do.” 

Tommy took off his tee shirt. Adam watched and squinted a little bit. Tommy had a pendant that glinted in the soft afternoon light. There was a thin stripe of hair down the center of his stomach which was just fleshy enough for nibbling. His nipples were a soft brown like milk chocolate. Tommy got down on his knees. Adam was breathing deeply relishing this new proximity. Tommy wet a cloth and began to lather it with a fragrant cake of soap. Adam’s senses were fully awakened now.

“Ooooo, what is that?”

“Lemongrass.” 

“This is so much better than the spa.” Tommy smiled liking the compliment very much. He continued to play it all business and matter-of-factly reached over for Adam’s arm. Adam caught Tommy’s pendant in his mouth and tugged on it. Tommy bent forward as directed and accepted the kiss. A lightning bolt shot through him, and he trembled. Tommy broke the suction and pulled away. 

“Adam . . . once we get started . . .” Adam nodded in agreement. A feast like this was meant to be savored one slow bite at a time. Adam took a deep breath and let Tommy resume his loving task. Tommy nonchalantly switched arms then motioned for Adam to lean up. Tommy was gentle but thorough until Adam’s chest and back were covered in white foam. Adam playfully dabbed Tommy’s nose and cheeks with bubbles as he worked. Tommy smiled and blushed, then casually wiped it all away. He was enjoying the tease. Adam dunked for a rinse while Tommy began to soap the cloth again. 

“Give me your foot.” Adam smiled coyly and obliged.

“Don’t tickle me now. I’d probably drown.” Tommy proceeded to rub Adam’s long feet and muscular calves. He went under water. The cloth on Adam’s thighs was maddening. He had been enjoying this soapy foreplay, but enough was enough. Adam wouldn’t hold out much longer. He had begun to ache. He grabbed onto the sides of the tub and studied Tommy’s features. His eyes were so dark just then. His lashes fanned across his cheeks when he blinked. Adam envied such natural, effortless beauty. Tommy had stopped and let the cloth fall away. Adam’s voice was husky. 

“I think you missed a spot.” Tommy smiled but a flicker of uncertainty crossed his brows. “Go on, Tommy. Touch me.” No more mystery. Tommy blinked and swallowed hard. “Please just touch me.” It was the please that threw Tommy over the edge. Just do it, he thought. This is the time. This is what you’ve been waiting for. There were several islands of bubbles blocking Tommy’s view. Tommy had to plunge in blindly. He scooped his hand between Adam’s legs and cupped his palm under Adam’s balls. Adam’s only reaction was a deep breath. Then Tommy continued a caress up the shaft of Adam’s c*ck. Adam bit his lip and grunted softly. He moved in Tommy’s hand. Tommy marveled, truly impressed. His suspicions about Adam’s anatomy were confirmed. 

“Jesus, Adam.” Tommy was filled with awe and apprehension.

“Trust me.” Tommy looked fully into Adam’s eyes. All the late night phone calls and sweet words the two of them had exchanged went unspoken but understood that very instant. Tommy nodded consent. Adam pulled Tommy forward and sloshed water over the side onto Tommy’s pants. He kissed Tommy roughly on the mouth, but he couldn’t get a decent grip. “Let’s go to bed.” Tommy helped Adam stand.

Tommy tried not to stare, but Adam was magnificent. The iridescent bubbles glistened and slid in slow motion across his chest, down his stomach, and sped up on their descent down Adam’s thighs. His skin was rosy under the frothy cascade. He handed Adam a towel. He was intimidated by the determined look on Adam’s face as if Tommy were his cornered prey. Tommy had no plan to escape. He wanted this. Adam dried himself briskly then turned his full attention to Tommy. Adam pulled Tommy into a passionate kiss and began fumbling impatiently with Tommy’s wet pants. 

“What the fuck! I’m totally worthless right now.” Adam was smiling. Tommy took over.

“I won’t be able to convince myself later that this was some kind of accident, will I?” (smooch)

“You having second thoughts?” (lick)

“No way, Adam. I want this.” (kiss) “I want you, (kiss) completely.” (devour)

They stumbled and bumped down the hallway to the bedroom unwilling to break their embrace for better balance. After the hot bath and Tommy’s invitation, Adam was more than ready to pleasure him.

They fell onto the bed. Adam tugged off Tommy’s underwear with one hand smothering the whole lower half of Tommy’s face with a possessive kiss. Tommy gasped for breath. He reached down to touch Adam, but Adam stopped him. 

“Wait, not yet.” Adam wanted total control. His touch was amazingly skilled. He trailed kisses down Tommy’s ribs and began to make a feast of him. Adam licked and suckled and nibbled at Tommy’s body taking him to the brink of ecstasy. Tommy began to writhe. Adam stopped a moment and took a tube from the nightstand. Tommy felt a clench of apprehension in his gut. “Adam?”

“Shh, not yet. It’s okay. Shh, trust me. Just breathe. I’m not going to hurt you.” Adam reclined in his side and pulled Tommy toward him. He planted soft kisses on Tommy’s face and reached his hand between Tommy’s legs. He positioned his lubed fingers at Tommy’s opening and made circular motions around and around until the entire area was warm and moist. The sensation sent tingles of electricity through Tommy’s body. He wanted more. Tommy rolled onto his back and lifted his knees. Adam hovered over him and finding just the right spot probed a single finger inside. Tommy caught his breath but not in pain. In fact, a faint smile curled Tommy’s mouth upward and he moaned.

“Do you like it?”

“God, yes!” Tommy pressed his lips together and mmmmmmmed. Adam started slipping his fingers in and out of Tommy’s body in a rhythm. Tommy bucked his hips. He couldn’t believe how amazing the fullness felt. He began to stroke himself off. Adam pushed his hand away.

“Let me do it.” Adam was thoroughly enjoying giving Tommy this much pleasure. He got high on the power. He wanted to take him all the way there. Adam took Tommy’s c*ck into his mouth and began to jab his backside with more pressure. Tommy felt deliciously dizzy and succumbed. He came abruptly and called out Adam’s name. Tommy lie there unable to move for a moment. His limbs were unresponsive. All he could do was wiggle his toes. Adam caressed Tommy’s body savoring the delicate beauty while he recovered. When Tommy was lucid again, he turned toward Adam and almost purred he was so enraptured by Adam’s touch. Tommy propped himself onto an elbow, but he couldn’t speak right away. Adam got caught up in his afterglow.

“What are you thinking?”

“This wasn’t what I had planned. I was supposed to do you, first. In my mind, I mean.” Tommy smiled coyly almost shy. “What I meant to say was,that was really amazing, and I want to make you feel that good.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I want to send you off to sleep with a big grin on your face.”

“Listen to you all confident. You don’t even know what you’re doing.”

Tommy was beginning to get more aggressive. “Really? I think I can figure it out.”

“You a quick study?”

“I’m more of a hands-on kind of guy.” Tommy dove under the covers and Adam began to laugh with the delirium only the combination of joy and exhaustion can create. Tommy was assuredly making the most of Adam’s obvious arousal. He nibbled at Adam’s inner thighs and flicked his hipbones with the tip of his tongue. He brushed his cheek against the soft bristles of Adam’s blondish pubes and nuzzled up under his balls drunkenly inhaling Adam’s spice. Adam wasn’t expecting Tommy to be so bold. His whimsy swiftly became raw desire. He splayed his legs wider still and pinched his nipples. All of a sudden, Tommy stopped playing and took Adam completely into his mouth and down his throat. Adam arched off the bed. He clawed the sheets then threw back the covers in time to see the fleshy pink of Tommy’s innermost lip wrinkle over the head of his own enormous length. Adam grabbed Tommy’s hair and ground himself back inside Tommy’s pretty face. He pulsed and flexed until he was rapidly approaching an inevitable release. Adam’s eyes flashed open. He was so turned on he literally growled. He lifted Tommy up and pushed him back against the pillows. Tommy hadn’t realized the effect he had on Adam at the moment until he saw the wolflike fierceness in his eyes. Tommy’s chin trembled, and Adam realized he couldn’t possibly be gentle.

“I gotta get off, T. Just let me look at you. Pose pretty for me.” Tommy threw an arm over his head, spread his legs, and touched himself. Adam arose on his knees jerking himself like a piston. Tommy’s colors were so beautiful to Adam, various shades of pink and brown on creamy white skin and those dreamy eyes. Adam groaned. His face contorted. He threw his head back and came in several bursts across Tommy’s chest. Adam called out “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

It was so good, Adam playfully timbered like a tree collapsing next to Tommy in a mighty bounce that shook the whole bed frame. Adam let out a long, loud sigh. “Oh, I love this bed!” Tommy mopped up Adam’s explosion with a bunch of sheet and rolled onto his stomach. He kissed Adam one more time as he closed his eyes. He whispered, “Welcome home, Adam.” Adam grabbed him up close and drifted off to sleep as promised with a big smile on his face.

When Adam awoke, the light that had been peeking from behind the heavy drapes was gone. It was pitch black outside and in. After the first few moments of consciousness, Adam could only hear Tommy breathing. He sniffed his fingers luxuriously and felt an immediate stirring in his groin. He got up to go the bathroom stepping cautiously considering the abandonment of clothes had been rather haphazard only a few hours before. He softly shut the bathroom door and flipped on the light. Adam squinted sharply. He looked in the mirror. He was a hot mess and smiled. Then he saw hanging behind him the beautiful blue kimono he had bought for Tommy. Adam went to the front of the house and noticed his bag was no longer in the entry. Tommy must have gotten up earlier, unpacked for him and found the kimono. He had wanted to surprise him with it, but just imagining Tommy wearing it, sent Adam a little closer to fine. Back in the bathroom, Adam noticed there were rose petals still strewn about. He scooped up a few and headed to the bedroom. 

Adam turned on the table lamp to dimly reveal Tommy’s body. He had to stifle a giggle when he realized that Tommy was turned the wrong direction in the bed. His feet were on the pillows. His blonde head near the bottom. Adam remembered Tommy saying something about being a restless sleeper. Right now, he was just too damn cute! Adam crouched down on the floor and studied the rose petals for a few seconds wondering what to do with them. He put one between his lips, but it tasted like soap so he quickly spit it out. Tommy stirred and turned his face toward Adam. Adam paused to soak in the beauty of those sweet features. How he wanted him. Adam hoped he could make this new intimacy last. When he was sure Tommy was still asleep, Adam took a petal and caressed Tommy’s cheek with it. Tommy sleepily fanned it away. Adam was smiling broadly now and did it again. This time Tommy fanned so hard he hit Adam above the eyebrow with the back of his fingers giving Adam a stinging thump. “Ow!”

Tommy awoke with a start and sat bolt upright. “What? What? What?!” Adam was half moaning, half laughing and holding his head. Tommy wasn’t completely lucid. “Adam?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing on the floor?”

“Looking for my eyeball.”

“What?”

“You hit me, you tool!”

“No, I didn’t!” Tommy had absolutely no recollection of any such thing.

“Yeah, you did. Look.” Adam took his hand away and knelt near the lamp. Tommy scooped up his face and turned it toward the light. There was a pretty raw welt. Tommy’s face creased.

“Aw, BB. I’m sorry.” He kissed it. “Why did I do that?”

Adam was amused. “That’s what I’d like to know.”

“Were you asleep?” Adam could tell Tommy was genuinely concerned.

“No. I thought it would be sexy to wake you up with roses.” Adam showed Tommy the petals all creased and damp in his hand. Tommy pushed out his bottom lip and awed until Adam was smirking.

“Don’t sneak up on me when I’m sleeping, BB. I come up swinging.” They were both smiling considering the fact that there would be many waking moments in their future together.

“That’s good to know.” Adam kissed him. Tommy helped him up, and Adam pushed him back onto the bed. Their kisses grew more passionate. Adam’s erection was evident, but they were still playful.

“You want some ice for that?” 

Adam shook his head. “I want your heat.” Adam mashed Tommy under the full of his weight. Tommy arched his back, but he was pinned. Tommy began to squirm while they kissed. “Oh no. You’re not going anywhere.”

“Seriously, Adam. I gotta go . . . you know.” Adam rolled away with a dramatic groan. 

“Hurry up will you?”

“Be right back.” Tommy had barely made it to the bathroom when Adam let out a torturous wail mocking his own impatience. 

“I’m dying in here!” Tommy was still gone. “TOMMY!!”

“Give me a minute!”

Adam was lolling on the bed and decided to straighten the covers. He got a condom out of the drawer and put it under the pillow. He had just gotten beneath the covers when Tommy cleared his throat. Adam glanced up, and there he was in the doorway smiling seductively. Adam swallowed hard. He put his feet back on the floor to steady himself. Tommy had donned the blue kimono. He had left the front open, exposing his nakedness. Tommy had freshened up and combed his hair. Adam watched him approach almost unable to believe he wasn’t dreaming.  
Tommy took Adam’s face in his hands and let his eyes convey the longing from way down inside. Adam reached up under the kimono and squeezed Tommy’s ass. His breathing was heavy and deep. “I want you.”

“You’ve got me, Adam. All of me.” Adam pulled Tommy onto the bed and kissed him deeply. They were all hands kneading and sculpting one another’s flesh. They paused occasionally in their mutual exploration to look lovingly at one another. It was time. Adam reached under the pillow. Tommy’s heart was racing. Adam’s warmth and masculinity were more of a turn on than he ever could have imagined. Long ago he had stopped worrying about labels and how Adam fit in with Tommy’s hetero identity. Right now, being with Adam seemed like the most natural thing in the world. He was in love, and gender just simply didn’t matter. Tommy showed no inhibition. He rested his ankles on Adam’s shoulders. Adam searched Tommy’s expression just to make sure he was ready. Tommy encouraged Adam with a nod and shifted slightly to tip his hips up. Adam didn’t want to lose eye contact. He felt his way and deliberately pushed himself inside with his fingers. Tommy blinked hard but was caught in Adam’s mesmerizing gaze. Adam pulled out and entered again. Tommy blew his breath through pursed lips. Adam wanted to be gentle in spite of the fact that his lower back was on fire to thrust.  
“You okay?” Adam whispered huskily.

Tommy nodded. “Yes. Yes.” His body relaxed, and Adam was able to slide further in. Tommy closed his eyes. The sensation of Adam inside him was so intense he thought he might lose consciousness. Adam withdrew and dabbed again deeper each time until finally he had entered Tommy completely. Adam’s desire took over and he began to move more forcefully now. Tommy winced and smiled, on fire with this new combination of pleasure and pain. Adam was in a zone. He got a rhythm.

“Oh, sweet . . . Tommy! Jesus!” Adam leaned forward and bent Tommy further up. Tommy needed some friction of his own and started stroking himself mercilessly. When he came, his contractions on Adam’s c*ck swiftly brought Adam to climax. Tommy gasped and Adam let out a long “OOOhhhhh!” He pulled out and collapsed. Tommy coiled into Adam and they held each other hot, wet, and heaving. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Tommy. That was fantastic! Are you okay?” Tommy was suddenly overcome with emotion so he nodded and offered a quiet, yes. Adam wasn’t convinced and pulled away enough to see his face. Tommy tried to hide his tears. “Did I hurt you?”

“No. I mean sort of, but no.” Adam really had no idea how to compare his sex with Tommy’s previous experiences.

“It was okay, then?” 

“Yes. It was amazing. It was . . . everything . . . Adam, I don’t want to talk. Just yes, yes, yes!” He squeezed Adam tighter still, and Adam gave Tommy a soft kiss on the cheek. 

“I love you, Tommy.”

“I love you too, Adam.” At that perfect moment, they couldn’t have been any happier.


	2. Chapter 2

Adam and Tommy shared a sweet honeymoon period for a few days then Tommy went back to his apartment for the sake of appearances. Adam’s schedule, full of responsibilities, got crazy again after only a brief respite from the promo tour. The band met often to rehearse. Tommy was thrilled that they would be doing some shows soon and that he would get to go to Europe in a couple weeks when Adam’s album released in the UK. The whole band would be in attendance. Adam and Tommy tried to keep it cool when they were in the presence of the band, but everyone had begun to suspect that something was going on. Adam kept his distance, but the looks on Tommy’s face spoke volumes. Monte and Longineau exchanged glances, but it was too early to speculate. Adam and Tommy had some kind of a “thing” going on since the AMA performance. Maybe it was nothing more than stage play. 

They were about to leave for Canada for two concerts in Vancouver. Adam and Tommy wanted to take the opportunity to be together as much as possible before they travelled into the “hands off” domain of the public eye. Tommy had come over for a long weekend. He had been in the pool most of the day alone while Adam ran errands. By the time Adam came home, Tommy was busily putting a dessert together for after dinner. He often surprised Adam with something off his diet. This time he was making a no-bake version of cheesecake with cherry topping. Adam was late, and Tommy was more than a little miffed to be cooped up all day waiting. When Adam came in the door, Tommy had his phone on speaker while he worked. He was always on the phone, according to Adam, with a seemingly endless supply of happy friends. Adam managed to shut the door with his foot since his arms were full of groceries. Tommy looked up from his stirring to give Adam a smooch face for a greeting. Adam never got tired of that. He tossed the keys and shades on the table. He dumped the bags noisily onto the counter purposefully encouraging Tommy to cut his phone conversation short. Tommy didn’t take the hint. Adam came up behind him and kissed his neck. He smelled like coconut oil and sunshine. Tommy leaned back for a luxurious grind. Adam reached around to take a taste out of the bowl Tommy was stirring and smacked him on the ass. Tommy was laughing at something the girl on the phone was saying. She had been telling him a long story about her latest sexual exploit. Tommy was simply interjecting remarks when he could get a word in edgewise. Adam put the cold stuff away first. He couldn’t help but eavesdrop. When the girl started describing the man she had “picked up” Adam got aroused. The gush of air from the freezer door dropped south and chilled his nipples. The combination of Adam’s imagination and the titillating air sent a direct message to his fly. He got Tommy’s attention and twirled his finger in the air insinuating he wanted him to wrap it up. Tommy put up his hand to signify he’d be with Adam in just a minute. Adam’s eyebrows raised and he whispered, “Did you just tell me, no?” The girl was still talking incessantly, but she interrupted herself. 

“Did you say something, Tommy?”

“No, sweetie, go ahead.” Tommy stuck out his tongue. Adam wasn’t going to wait. He ripped open a box of condoms from the grocery bag and removed one. Tommy’s eyes narrowed in challenge. As the girl chattered away, Tommy offered only an occasional uh-huh or huh-uh to keep her going and called Adam’s bluff. Adam yanked on Tommy’s swim shorts. “You wouldn’t dare.” Tommy said it aloud, and it surprisingly fit right in to the girl’s story. 

“Oh, yes, I did!” She laughed. 

Adam smiled wryly when Tommy’s breath began to quicken. The truth was Adam had been stalked by the paparazzi while shopping, and he got pissed off. This was his neighborhood market, for Christ’s sake and he ought to be able to get groceries without a photo shoot. By the time he got home, Adam had wanted to complain about it and have Tommy cheer him up. When Tommy was on the phone and inaccessible, it reminded Adam once again that he and Tommy were a secret. The last thing Adam wanted to have to do was hide in his own fucking house. Often anger made Adam horny. Tommy had gotten turned on by the girl’s story on the phone and secretly welcomed Adam’s rough proposition. Adam dipped his fingers into the can of cherry topping and slathered a mess of it up Tommy’s crack. He dropped to his knee, spread Tommy’s cheeks, and licked him from ball sac to back. Tommy made a gasp and knocked over a can of soda. The girl on the line paused.

“Tommy are you okay?”

“Yup, I just spilled my drink.” Tommy was breathy. He couldn’t remember why he was still resisting Adam’s advances like he could possibly win a battle of wills when Adam turned predator.

“Oh, you know, that reminds me. That’s why I had to take my shirt off in the first place. That snippy waiter totally dumped his tray . . .”

Tommy stopped listening. Adam was probing his hole with his tongue, and Tommy felt like he would come undone at any moment. He was almost prancing unable to get away from Adam’s firm grip on his hips. His fingers bit into Tommy’s flesh, and he stood still. His cock sprung painfully up. Adam began making louder noises on purpose. The girl still clueless asked if Tommy was eating something.

Tommy laughed out right. “No! Uh, I’m making dessert.”

“Well, it must be good. What are you having?” All Tommy could manage was a grunt. “What? Oh, hold on, Tommy. I’ve got another call coming in.”

Tommy’s ass was slick and wet. He heard Adam unwrap the condom and pushed the bowl he had been stirring aside to lean over the counter. He had completely forgotten about the phone.  
Adam growled into his ear. “Hang up, T.”

Tommy reached for the phone, but he accidentally slid it out of reach. Adam entered Tommy in one determined thrust. Tommy called out and grabbed onto the edge of the counter should his knees fail him. The phone beeped.

“Hey, Tommy, are you still there?”

By this time, Adam and Tommy had abandoned all attempts at a subtle daytime screw. They were both moaning and cursing at random as their bodies audibly slapped into one another.

“Tommy? Oh my god, are you jerking off? Geezus, I leave you alone for a minute and . . .” Tommy cried out in ecstasy. “I’ll just call back later.” She finally hung up giggling.

Adam threw his head back and came. Tommy stood up as Adam withdrew. Adam shook himself and nudged Tommy out of the way. He wasn’t ready to make nice. “Who was that silly bitch, anyway?”

“Your mom.” Tommy was casually pulling up his shorts.

Adam was stunned by Tommy’s gall and spun him around. “What is the matter with you?!”

“You’re jealous.” 

“What are you talking about?”

“Of me and my friends”

“That’s ridiculous. I’ve got lots of friends.”

“I mean my girlfriends.”

“I don’t give a shit about your girlfriends.”

“Well, maybe you should.”

“Look, I don’t need this shit right now.”

“I think we need to talk about it.”

“Well, why don’t you just phone a ‘friend’?”

“See! I knew you were upset about that. Don’t you think we should set up some ground rules or something?” Adam just shrugged. “Or maybe you just don’t care.” Tommy resumed his dessert prep with a vengeance and sloppily poured the filling into a shell. Adam scratched the back of his head and realized he had handled this situation badly. He had brought his upset with the paparazzi home and unloaded on Tommy when it was undeserved. He followed Tommy to the fridge where Tommy almost tossed the cheesecake onto a shelf. Adam put out his arms to stop him from just brushing past. He pulled Tommy in, and Tommy let himself be held.

“I’m sorry. I had a shitty day, and I was pissed that you were on the phone when I got home. I wanted to talk to you. I needed you. I hate it that we have to be so secretive. I’ve made my life all around being open, and now this has all got me on guard. I’m not used to it.”

It was Tommy’s turn to unload. “What do you think it’s like for me? All my friends wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. They keep asking me to fess up that I’ve met someone. I don’t know what to tell them.” Tommy pulled away to look at Adam. “I’m with you. It’s the only place I want to be. I don’t care how complicated it gets. And I don’t mean I just want to be in the sack with you. I want to play for you in the band and have dinner and watch TV, and not just on weekends, either!” Adam shushed him and held him close again.

“I want all those things too. The damned tabloids keep following me around every time I leave the house.”

“How are we going to make this work when we can’t tell anyone?”

Adam took a step back. “I don’t know where we’re going, Tommy. I thought I was sure about somebody once before, and I still don’t really know what went wrong. It scares me to think that I can’t stop it, that I might make the same mistake and not even see it coming. I don’t want to mess this up, but I think I’ve already started.”

“I’m not scared, Adam. Can’t I be sure enough for the both of us? You’re it for me. Just you . . . and I don’t care who knows it.”

Adam was touched by Tommy’s affection. “Baby, I just don’t want the press to start peeping into my bedroom again. They are finally asking me about my music for a change. When we go public, my sexuality and the AMAs and all that shit is going to be pushed to the front of the line. And I’ll get the third degree all over again. I can’t afford a controversy right now, not when the album’s beginning to see some real sales.”

“I’m a controversy.” Tommy said it as a statement not needing Adam’s confirmation.

“Can you handle it? Coz if you can’t, then you’ve got to make a decision right now.” Adam hadn’t intended to give Tommy an ultimatum, but now that it was out there, he had to hold firm. He crossed his arms in front and planted his feet firmly bracing himself for Tommy’s good-bye.

“I can handle it.” Adam took a breath of relief and nodded. He leaned onto the refrigerator. Tommy was still bothered. “I don’t think we should keep it a secret from the band anymore, though. Monte keeps dragging me off to those open mike bars. He teases me about chicks a lot, kind of like a big brother, but he gets kind of insistent like he’s trying to set me up.”

At that moment Adam realized that Monte already knew about him and Tommy. Monte was trying to keep Tommy occupied. Adam would have some major explaining to do. Tommy was right. They couldn’t keep it from the band anymore. Adam let Tommy have the victory. “Okay. We’ll tell the band at rehearsal tomorrow.” Tommy’s face softened into a relieved smile. They hugged again. “It’s going to be okay, Tommy. Please be patient with me. It’s uncharted territory, okay?” 

“Okay.”

Adam pulled Tommy into a tight hug. “One of these days, I’m going to tell the whole world how much I love you. I wanna shout it from the rooftops that you’re mine. One day, I will.”  
Tommy beamed. 

“Okay.” Tommy’s phone beeped with a message, and he went over to pick it up. Adam got there first and put his hand over the phone.

“And, one more thing. You don’t have to keep testing me. You know, making me mad just to see if you can push me away. You can’t. I’m not that easy to get rid of.”

Tommy smiled knowingly. “All right. Now lemme have my phone.” 

Adam raised the phone above his head. “How bad do you want it?” Tommy lunged, and Adam tucked it down the front of his pants grinning broadly. Tommy cupped Adam’s balls and gripped a little too hard making Adam flinch up on his toes.

Tommy whispered. “Oh, I want it real bad.” He chased Adam into the bedroom for one more pre-dinner grope.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day at rehearsals, Adam and Tommy were ridiculously flirty. Monte and LP exchanged glances and raised eyebrows. Cam kept her distance trying to get a feel for the group dynamic. She whispered to Monte, “Are they always like this?” Monte simply responded nonchalantly, “Like what?” She decided not to pursue it. The band played two songs in succession. Adam was on fire. He usually held back a little bit during rehearsals but not today. Adam pulled out all the stops. The power of his voice urged the others to step it up and jam as if their very lives depended on it. They all whooped it up after the last crazy note bolted through the roof and celebrated how unbelievably awesome the tour was going to be. In the excitement, Adam and Tommy embraced then kissed softly in front of everyone. The band fell silent, and Adam sensed it was time to include them. 

“Guys, I guess I need to make an announcement. Tommy and I are dating now. We want to keep it quiet until the tour’s over.” No one spoke. “So if anybody wants to say anything, now’s the time to get it all out there.”

LP broke the uneasy silence. “Hey, congrats, guys.” Cam also came forward and patted Tommy. When Monte remained distant, LP added, “I don’t think it’s any big surprise to us. Right?” Monte noticed the question was directed at him. “Right.” His tight smile was somewhat forced and unconvincing. Adam caught his eyes, but Monte swiftly looked away. Adam took charge. “Let’s take fifteen and then get back to it.” Tommy kissed Adam on the cheek then almost skipped over to LP. They got drinks and immediately began chatting away about a new band they both liked. Cam excused herself to make a phone call. Adam pretended to check his email while Monte tried to look busy. This wasn’t going to work. Monte went into an adjoining room, and Adam followed cautiously. 

“Do you want to talk to me?”

“I don’t think you really want to do this here, right now.”

Adam confirmed Monte’s anger and realized he should have handled the situation better. His happiness had merely consumed his candor. “Let me have it. Just say it all.”

“All these years we’ve known each other, and I’m just a guy in the band, right? ‘We’ll tell the band.’ That was the plan, am I right?”

“I had a feeling you wouldn’t approve. I didn’t know how to tell you, Monte.”

“You mean you didn’t want to tell me at all. Geezus, Adam! No one else I know is as willing to work his ass off as you are, no matter how fucked up it gets. But, you run . . . and I say this as friend, Adam . . . you run away from relationships. Things get serious and you bolt every time!”

“That isn’t true! Maybe I’m no good at making it last, but I don’t run. That’s not right.”

“Adam, the point is you get bored. You’re a thrill junkie. When the newness wears off, you lose the excitement, and you get bored. I’ve watched you do this over and over again.” Adam tried to dismiss these accusations, but Monte continued. “Don’t get me wrong. I really like Tommy. He’s a good kid. But, he’s just that, Adam . . . a kid.”

“He’s my age!”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. As sweet as he is, Tommy’s no match for you, man. He’s no challenge.”

It was Adam’s turn to rage. “Maybe I want something to be fucking easy for once! Did you think about that? I’ve got a limit, Monte. Dammit, I’ve earned this.” Adam paused to stop shouting, suddenly aware that he and Monte might be heard outside in the studio. “Tommy’s beautiful. He makes me happy, and he loves me. Why can’t that be enough?”

“Nobody can answer that but you! What happens if it isn’t enough?”

Adam was becoming weary of this confrontation. Lately when Adam bothered to dig below the surface of any situation, he found barbs. It was too late to go back now. He and Monte had to finish this. “I know I almost threw it all away. I’m not going to fuck up again. If it all goes sour, I’ll just . . .”

Monte held up his hand to stop Adam from making a promise he couldn’t keep. “He’s a bassist. I know four who’d snap up this gig in a heartbeat.”

Adam tisked loudly at Monte insinuating Tommy was expendable. “That’s mean.”

Monte got very close to him and spoke very softly. “I’ve got a wife and kids, twins on the way for Christ’s sake. You’re the one who made this business.” Monte could see that Adam was really hurting, and he sat down beside him. “It’s not a deal breaker, okay? It just shocks the hell out of me sometimes that you don’t know how good you are. I mean it, Adam. Don’t you see where you’re going? I can’t figure why you start hedging bets with your personal life like you don’t have the world to lose.”

Adam shrugged helplessly. “Don’t give up on me, Monte.”

Monte nudged him brotherly. “Don’t let a pretty piece of ass come between us.” 

Adam smiled coyly. “Oh, Monte, if you only knew. He’s got this precious little heart-shaped ass. Honestly.”

Monte put up his hands playfully. “I don’t need to know . . . about that.” He rose to go back to the others, but Adam stopped him.

“Monte. Tommy really looks up to you. If you start treating him weird, it’s going to hurt him.”

“Between the two of us, I’m the least likely to hurt him. I can’t wait for him to start asking me shit like, ‘Why does Adam do that?’” Adam laughed outright at Monte’s vocal impression of Tommy. “And I’m going to tell him the truth that you’ve got everyone snowed into thinking your something besides an asshole.”

Adam was still smiling. “If I’m such an asshole, why have you hung around so long?”

Monte turned at the door. “Because I love you.”

Adam swallowed the lump in his throat and whispered. “I love you, too.”

“Well, let’s go make some music, loverboy!”

Adam started singing from the Loverboy songbook. “Why don’t you turn me loose . . . turn me loose . . . turn me loose! I gotta do it my way! Or no way at all!” He was overdramatizing the angst-ridden lyrics and making Monte laugh. The others who were waiting were confused by their mood having been certain that they were arguing only moments before. Adam approached Tommy and winked. “Are you ready to play?”

“Bring it!” LP answered with a kick ass drum run.

“Let’s do this thing!” Adam orchestrated the rest of the rehearsal experimenting with different vocal arrangements and variant tempos. Adam and LP continued to read each other’s minds on some kind of cosmic level. Cam jumped in relishing the opportunity to play new songs in different ways. Monte pulled them all together. They finished with the acoustic version of Whataya Want From Me given that they would be performing that several times on their return trip to the UK. Tommy modestly chewed his lower lip so pleased to be the object of Adam’s affection. He didn’t know that this time, the song was for Monte alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the rehearsal, Tommy was deliriously happy. “Let’s got out tonight, Adam. Can we go out tonight?”

Adam was hesitant. “Not alone. I mean maybe with a group of us.” Tommy was bummed, and   
Adam hated to bring him down. “Look, I could make a call or two. I just thought we could stay in.” Adam put his arm around Tommy’s shoulders and kissed his temple. That was enough.

“Okay. Let’s order out and get a movie.”

“That’ll be perfect.” There was a long pause as they got into the car. Tommy knew Adam was deep in thought as he drove home. He hummed occasionally and sung along with the songs on the radio.

Tommy wanted to make sure everything was all right. “I think telling the band was the right thing to do. I mean, it seemed to go pretty well.” Adam just made an mmmmmm noise, so Tommy tried again. “Did Monte come around finally?”

Adam was aware that he had been silent too long. He needed to be more mindful of Tommy’s feelings and share his thoughts. “Yeah. Monte’s okay now. He accepts . . . us.” It was easier for Adam to open up while he was focusing on the road. The traffic served as a filter for the sensitive nature of his words. “You’ve got to understand something. Monte’s response today was not personal. It’s business. We go back a long time. Our first band was always getting interrupted by our real world issues. The music really suffered. When I brought Monte aboard this time, we agreed we needed to try harder to stay strong. This is like a second chance for us. You just don’t get that opportunity very often, you know, to try again.”

Tommy was actually relieved it was business. “Adam, listen. I’m not going to get in the way of your career. It’s too important.” Adam tried to interrupt him. “No, hear me out. You’re going straight to the top Adam, and maybe I’m being kind of conceited, but I think I can help you get there. I want to help you focus not become a distraction. Monte’s just going to have to trust me.” 

Adam pulled into the drive and turned off the ignition. “What do you mean exactly?”

“I’ve got a really good feeling about us, Adam. But, just like you said yesterday, things you just can’t stop from happening mess everything up sometimes.” Adam was filled with emotion suddenly remembering old heartache and simultaneously captivated by this lovely, articulate creature next to him. He hadn’t given Tommy enough credit for understanding the situation so well. He was ashamed that all too often he underestimated the people he loved. “Promise me, Adam. Promise me that we’ll stay honest with each other.” Tommy referred to the house. “If it all goes sour and we can’t do both, I’ll walk away. I’ll leave the band, Adam.” Adam bit his lip and looked away. “Hey, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, what is it?”

Adam traced a random pattern with his keys. “I was so afraid I wouldn’t fall in love again. What if there comes a time I have to choose, and I choose you?” They kissed long and slow. Tommy stayed close and shook his head. 

“If that time comes, Adam, it won’t be up to you.” 

Adam smothered Tommy with kisses. They got out of the car, but as soon as they reached the door, Adam spun around. “You know what? Fuck it! Let’s go out.”

“Seriously?”

“We’ll get dressed up, and we’ll walk in holding hands, and . . .”

“Where? Where are we going?” Tommy was already unlocking the front door.

“I don’t give a shit! Any place you want to go, baby. I’ll make them seat us in a booth where everyone can see us, and . . .”

Tommy interrupted in spite of the fact that Adam’s banter was extremely cute. “Adam, let’s stay in.”

“Really?” It was Adam’s turn to be disappointed. “Aren’t you hungry?”

Tommy pulled Adam into the house and breathed into his ear. “I’m famished.” Tommy worked his hands into the back of Adam’s pants and rocked him closer.

“Oooo, you want me?”

“Desparately.” Tommy licked Adam’s mouth and continued to grind him. Their encounter was becoming clumsy in the vertical, and they scrambled into the bedroom. 

As they impatiently stripped each other of garments, Adam smiled seductively. “You wanna fuck me, Tommy Joe?” 

Tommy was too delirious to actually realize what Adam had meant. “Yes, I wanna fuck.”

Adam pulled him away to make his point. “I said, ‘Do you want to fuck Me?”

Tommy’s eyes widened. “What . . . you mean, me on top?”

“Yesssss.” Adam let the word slither between his teeth like a serpent. He bit him on the earlobe. Tommy winced and pulled away.

“Okay, now you’re gonna get it.” It was thrilling for Adam to let Tommy lead. His promise had left Adam humbled and feeling a little bit vulnerable. Sometimes, he simply relished the pleasure of being taken. Adam wanted above all things including fame and success to belong to someone. Tonight, Adam belonged to Tommy. He gave Tommy a little shove to the foot of the bed. 

“Watch me.” Tommy’s eyes were glued on Adam’s every move. He looked like a cat ready to pounce. Adam slowed his movements to tease Tommy’s impatience. Adam was already shirtless, and his fly was unzipped. He casually slipped his hand into the front of his pants and began to stroke himself so Tommy could see. The longing showed on his face and made Adam’s thighs tighten in anticipation. He turned around and leisurely lowered his pants below his butt. Adam’s bottom was firm and round under the scoop of his lower back. Tommy was so turned on and simultaneously nervous, that his teeth began to chatter. Adam kicked his pants aside and climbed onto the bed. Tommy made a motion toward Adam, but he stopped. Adam told him to wait. Tommy sat back again and touched himself to ease the bend of his erection. Adam leaned against the pillows and splayed his knees giving Tommy a full view of his body. He confidently sucked on two of his fingers and with wanton abandon slipped his fingers into his backside. His upper lip curled into sexy smirk when he saw the look of longing on Tommy’s face. He tossed Tommy a condom and sprawled backward. Tommy fumbled with the wrapper and cursed. “Slow down, T.” Tommy sort of crawled on top of Adam and paused. “Start slow, then you can let me have it.” Tommy just nodded and began to penetrate Adam the same way he had felt Adam do to him. Adam clenched his teeth and moaned offering words of encouragement. “Ooooo, Tommy, that’s so good.” Tommy moved more confidently. Adam still had control. He opened on the thrust and squeezed on the draw making Tommy absolutely delirious. He stroked himself while Tommy fucked him, and it simply didn’t take any time at all for the both of them to collapse into the gasps and shudders of ecstasy. 

Since neither had had anything to eat yet, they playfully sauntered into the kitchen to get a tray of leftovers turned finger foods. Back on the bed kind of picnic style, they fed each other too big of bites and licked each other’s ravenous spills off lips and chins. Afterward, sipping wine and newly energized they both became chatty. After a moment of quiet, Adam blurted out. “So what’s it like to have sex with a woman?”

Tommy almost choked. “You really haven’t ever been with a girl?”

“Nope . . . really. I’m asking.”

Tommy could go there without much coaxing. “Well, some of it is the same. It’s hot, but it’s a wet heat, though. And, they’re really bendy.”

Adam laughed. “Tell me more.” Adam rolled up onto his side to watch Tommy explain.

“They’re soft. Their tummies are soft, and their skin is . . . silky, I guess. Yeah, silky. And they smell different . . . kind of like wine and rain.” Adam relished Tommy’s description. Adam’s other lovers had shared with him their hetero encounters, but they had often found it unsavory. Tommy obviously dug girls, a lot! Adam didn’t feel threatened. Tommy was self-conscious all of a sudden, embarrassed that he was falling short of poetic. “I dunno.”

Adam wanted to keep the conversation going. “I like how they taste. You know, when I’ve had a few drinks? I just want to gobble them up.”

“You really should try it, Adam.”

“I don’t know, Tommy. I’ve waited so long now, it almost seems like I’d only be doing it to check it off a list or something.”

“Well, you wouldn’t have any trouble getting one!”

“I’ve had some pretty close calls. Girls can be really aggressive!”

“Yup. Tongue down your throat and hand up your thigh. Just like that, no warning, or nothing.”

“Yeah, I’m like, ‘Hold on, babe!’ but they are relentless.”

“It works, though. When a girl gets all assertive like that, I’m long gone. I mean if I already think she’s cute. She knows and just sort of goes for it. You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, but all I’ve got is the physical arousal, though. If a girl touches me or kisses me, then, sure I get kind of turned on, but there has to be some kind of contact. The body reacts, but in my head, I’m not going there. Just thinking about you gets my blood boiling. There’s a big difference.”

Tommy considered what Adam was saying and nodded pensively unable to completely grasp how Adam wasn’t attracted to girls mentally. Adam interrupted his processing. “Tommy Joe, you’re not going to give up girls for me, are you? Admit it.”

“If you want me to I will. I’ll admit you are the only guy that I’ve ever been . . . attracted to. And, it’s different because I love you.”

Adam was moved. “When I’m with someone, I’m monogamous, always.”

“Then I will be too. Especially if you let me, you know, take turns sometimes.”

“Did you like that?”

“That was really hot. I never thought I’d ever want to fuck a guy, but you’re just so . . . incredible.”

“I don’t think I’m that special.”

Tommy was surprised that Adam was serious. “Yes you are! You can’t be that blind, Adam. What do you see when you look in the mirror?”

Adam tossed a pillow. “I see my flaws . . . lots and lots of flaws.”

“Well, then start looking at me instead of the mirror. Watch me looking at you.” Tommy pulled the covers off of Adam exposing him.

“What are you doing?”

“Let me look at you.” Adam was apprehensive, but there was a determination and a kindness in Tommy’s expression that made him hope he was right.

“I dated an art student for awhile, and she taught me a little bit about art history, coz I totally didn’t get it.” Tommy gazed lovingly up and down Adam’s body. Just as Adam was beginning to feel self-conscious, Tommy drew a conclusion. “Your body’s like an Italian sculpture, like Michelangelo.”

Adam guffawed. “Please. It is not.”

“Adam, I’m not teasing. Your lines and curves are like the stuff I saw in her book. It’s all about sensuality and virility. There’s supposed to be a kind of androgyny in sculpture on purpose. Only the perfect form, the ideal, had qualities of both sexes.” Tommy trailed his fingertips over Adam’s shoulder, his chest, and down his stomach. “Look at me. Do you see how beautiful you are?” Tommy offered Adam his eyes to use as a mirror, and Adam believed. Tommy had stopped the tour of his fingers at Adam’s cock. “Now THAT . . . is not Roman.” Adam smiled sheepishly and put his hand over his penis. “You’ve got some kind of Viking dick thing going on down there.” 

“Stop it.” Adam was actually blushing.

Tommy was relentless in his teasing. “No fig leaf is gonna cover that monster!” 

“Stop it! Really, I mean it.”

Tommy pulled Adam’s chin up so he could look directly into his eyes. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

“I guess I should have stayed in school.”

“You are the most beautiful person I have ever met. I don’t mean the make-up or the clothes. Just you. Just like this, all messed up and naked. Beautiful Adam.” Tommy kissed him long and deep. Adam had to take breath. They began to touch again.

“You’re going to break my heart, aren’t you?”

“Not if I can help it.” They made love again, slowly. Their bodies pressed into one another becoming a single form rocking a steady rhythm under the covers. They fell asleep in each other’s arms with nothing at all to hide.


End file.
